Keeping the Beat: An Adrenaline Novel Read online

  "First of all Kenzie, I won't fuck you ever.” My words came out harsh and I watched her go still against the wall. "You mean so much more to me than somebody I'd just fuck." I felt myself start to tremble with anger as she stared at me with sober eyes.

  "It was a joke, Jace," she said slowly, rubbing her hand up and down my arm in a soothing motion.

  "Not funny," I kept my voice short as self loathing filled my gut.

  "I can see that," Kenzie commented dryly. "I'm sorry, Jace. Don't be mad." Her hand had started to play with the ends of my hair, twirling a piece of it around her finger while her other hand rested on my arm.

  "I'm not mad at you Kenzie. I'm mad at myself. The only reason I went after women like that was because I was under the impression they would make me forget you.” My hands trailed up from her hips over her ribs. “I know now that there’s no one that could ever make what I feel for you go away. I don't even know why I tried. That’s something I’ll regret for the rest of my life.”

  She shook her head and took my hand off her face. “Jace, I’m telling you we’re okay. I know you have a past and I’m not going to hold it against you. It’s fine.”

  “It’s not but I swear I’m going to try to make it up to you.”

  Kenzie gave a small tilt of her lips. “You’re relentless,” she sighed giving me a gentle push with her hand to my chest. “I get off in an hour. We can talk about this then okay?”

  I let her walk away from me giving her a tight smile. It didn't take a genius to see the woman in the bar had upset Kenzie. It was my job to make sure that didn't happen again. I shot Garret a quick text message before heading towards my truck. I had some work to do before Kenzie’s shift ended.

  Chapter 14

  Kenzie

  Jared let me go home early which I was grateful for. I felt exhausted and wanted nothing more than to climb into bed and sleep for the rest of the night. Garret had informed me Jace had something he needed to take care of and would get in touch with me later. I would be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed he hadn't followed me back into JJ’s but there was no rule that said we had to be together all the time.

  When I unlocked the front door to my house I immediately caught the scent of candles and felt a bubble of panic rise within me. I was never careless enough to leave a candle burning when I wasn't home, but I had a lot on my mind lately. It was possible I had a lapse in judgement. Hurrying to my bedroom I threw open the door and came to a dead stop.

  Jace was standing at the edge of my bed surrounded by the dozens of candles that were lit up around the room. He had a bouquet of sunflowers in one hand and a box of my favorite candies in the other. With a mile wide grin, Jace moved across the room to greet me pressing a kiss to the tip of my nose.

  “What’s this?” I asked taking the flowers from his outstretched hand.

  “I’m wooing you,” Jace stated gesturing towards the flowers.

  Pressing the bouquet to my nose I breathed in deep and grabbed the candy from his other hand. “Wooing me, huh?” Crossing to my bed I sat on the edge and gestured for him to sit next to me.

  “How am I doing?”

  “Not too shabby,” I smiled and pushed my glasses up my nose. Setting my gifts aside I laid back on the bed and waited for Jace to do the same. His head turned so that we were eye to eye and I let my hand come up to trace the side of his face. The worry from earlier was still evident in his eyes and I wanted to make it go away.

  I couldn't blame him for having that woman approach him at JJ’s. He hadn't encouraged her. I had even heard him tell her that he was there with his girlfriend which had made my heart soar. She was just a reminder of all the others I had seen waltzing in and out of his life. All of my past insecurities came rushing to the surface and I was doing my best to smother them. Having Jace in bed with me was plenty reassuring.

  “I’m sorry about what happened at the bar, Kenzie.”

  “Not your fault.”

  “I should never have been with her in the first place. It makes me sick thinking about it. I would do anything to keep that look off of your face.”

  My fingers started tracing the elaborate design on his arm, trailing up and down as I gave him a little smile. “Maybe we should just tattoo my name on your forehead.”

  “Done,” Jace nodded and tugged my arm out from under me so I fell on top of him.

  With a soft laugh I looked into his face, relieved to see he was smiling too. “You make me really happy.” Resting my hands on his chest I pressed a quick kiss to his cheek before looking into his eyes. “I’m stupid in love with you Jace.”

  I swear I felt his heart stop beating under my hand. I was sure he stopped breathing. Dread was seeping into me as memories of the last time I told Jace I loved him flashed through my mind. He had the same dazed look in his eye that night.

  “Jace,” I repeated his name propping myself up on one arm. Shaking his head he seemed to snap out of it. Grabbing my wrist with one of his hands he blinked up at me, his eyes clearing. “Did you hear what I said?” I asked hesitantly.

  He swallowed hard, his adam's apple bobbing. “I heard you.”

  “Right,” I said forcing a smile. The fact that he wasn't out the door told me he was taking it better than he had last time. “That’s good then.” I rolled off of him onto my back and gazed up at the ceiling.

  There was a beat of silence before Jace’s face hovered over mine. Taking my face between his large hands he leaned down and kissed me. My hands slid over his shoulders, gripping hard when he changed the angle of the kiss. The softness of his lips moved over mine as his tongue slipped into my mouth.

  “Kenzie,” he murmured against my mouth, the sound vibrating against my lips. I rolled my hips into his trying to pull him further on top of me but he wouldn't budge. I was very aware I had just confessed my love for Jace for the second time without a response from him but the feel of his hard body against mine was helping me forget.

  When he pulled away from me I let out a frustrated growl. The sudden cool air hit me where the heat of his body had been moments before as he pushed off of the bed. My eyes widened watching as he stood before me taking a deep breath with his hands on his hips.

  “Are you fucking kidding me right now?” I hopped up to stand on the bed so that I was a little above eye level with him. Giving him a hard knock on the shoulder I watched as he took a step back at the force of the contact. “I tell you I love you, then you kiss me, and now you’re leaving me again? What the hell, Jace?” I reached down and grabbed a pillow from the top of my bed whipping it at his head. If he was jerking me around, I was going to kill him.

  Catching the pillow easily Jace dropped it onto the floor before taking a step towards the bed. “I’m not leaving. Just needed to slow down for a minute.”

  “Why?” I sat back down on my bed with a huff. “I wasn't asking you to slow down.”

  “I know you weren’t, sugar.” Jace moved to sit by me again. “I needed a second to think. I thought it was going to take time to get you to fall in love with me again. You threw me for a loop just now in the best possible way.”

  “I never stopped loving you, Jace.”

  “That’s a fucking miracle,” he commented gruffly tilting his head to look at me. His hands wrapped around my waist and pulled me into his lap as he buried his face in my neck. I felt him take a few calming breaths and waited for him to make the next move. “Kenzie,” his whispered my name in a voice that made me shiver as he cradled my jaw in his hand.

  “I’ve learned that there are a lot of different ways to love someone in this life. Some loves can make you sick, they can even make you downright miserable. There are loves that make you hurt. Loves that make you feel like a complete fucking idiot.” Licking his lips Jace shook his hair out of his face and tightened his grip on me. “My love for you Kenzie has hit me in all of those ways but it’s also what makes me want to be better. Not only for you but for myself too. Everything I do, I do because I love you.”


  “Wow,” I breathed watching the intense emotions play across Jace’s face. Never in my wildest dreams had I imagined such sweet words coming from his mouth. I could see that he meant every word.

  “I’ve been saving that up for a bit,” Jace smiled and gave a playful tug on my hair. “I love you so much Kenzie.”

  “Does this candle lit surprise count as a date?” Jace cocked a brow and waited for me to elaborate. Climbing off of his lap I reached into my bedside table and pulled out a box of condoms. Tossing them towards him I watched as he looked down in confusion before his brows slammed together. Whipping his head up, his hazel eyes met mine. The loving look from earlier disappeared as he scowled at me.

  “Kenzie Nicole Kane, why the fuck do you have condoms in your room?”

  Jace

  With a slight shrug Kenzie climbed back onto the bed next to me. “Better safe than sorry.” I made a low sound in my throat making her laugh and hug my arm. “Jace, relax. It’s not even open.”

  I turned the box over in my hands once before tossing it onto the bed next to me. “I promised myself I wouldn't ask you this but I have to know.” I dropped my head back and stared at the ceiling for a moment before looking back at her. “Garret mentioned that you’ve dated.”

  Kenzie gave me a long look before speaking. “I went out a few times when I was in school, but I think Garret may have over exaggerated my dating history .”

  I felt my jaw start to tick and scrubbed a hand over my mouth to cover it up. “You were seventeen when you graduated college. Everyone you went out with must have been older than you.” She just stared at me making me curse and shake my head. When she continued to watch me struggle silently I let out a little groan. “Please put me out of my misery and answer the question I'm really asking.”

  “I thought about having sex with someone just to get it over with. Especially after you turned me down.” She accompanied the words with a little smack against my bicep. “It’s not fair to ask me this question when we both know I wouldn't be your one and only.” I cast my eyes down and wished for the thousandth time that I had done things differently where Kenzie was concerned. “I could never go through with it though.”

  “Why not?” I asked, hearing my voice shake.

  “Because I love you.”

  When I turned my head to look at her Kenzie scooted back against the headboard. She relaxed against the pillows, her hair a mess around her face. Shifting on the bed I leaned over her, careful not to place any of my weight on her body. “You’re the one and only that will ever matter to me.” I brushed my lips over hers gently, smiling when I felt her sigh against my mouth. “You’re so beautiful, Kenzie.”

  The love shining out of her eyes made my chest feel tight. “You say that a lot,” she commented with a sassy tilt of her lips before her mouth fell open as I pressed my lips to her throat.

  “I think it a lot,” I laughed reaching for the hem of her shirt. Without any hesitation Kenzie grabbed it and gave a sharp tug tossing it over her head. My breath caught in my throat as her black bra came into view. Bending my head I placed open mouth kisses to the swells of each breast before moving down her stomach and stopping at the snap of her jeans.

  “Take them off,” she commanded reaching for the button herself.

  “What’s the rush?” I was amazed at how calm the words sounded when I didn't think I had ever been this worked up before. After so many years dreaming of this moment, I wanted to make it last.

  “I’m not wearing the right underwear.”

  Surprised I lifted my head taking in Kenzie’s serious expression. “What?”

  Sighing heavily Kenzie pushed to her elbows and blew the stray hairs out of her eyes. “I went out and bought this underwear with hopes that this would finally happen for us. I wasn't expecting it to happen tonight.”

  “Did you want to wait?” I asked raising my brows. If she said yes I had a strong suspicion that I would start to cry. Having Kenzie half naked beneath me was a dream come true but if she wanted to wait I would just have to go grab a cold shower. My relationship with Kenzie was too important for me to rush into anything she wasn't ready for.

  Grabbing a fistful of my shirt in her hand Kenzie yanked me close so that our lips were a breath apart. “Jace I feel like I’ve waited my whole life for you. If you stop now I swear to God I will make you regret it.”

  I wanted to laugh but didn't dare with the dangerous glint in her eye. “I kind of want to see the underwear though.”

  Kenzie’s serious expression broke as she smiled. “Next time.” Leaning forward she rubbed her lips against mine, sneaking her tongue out to taste the length of my mouth.

  Heat balled in my gut as I ran my hands over her warm skin, moving them up her back to unclasp her bra. As her breasts came into view I felt the full force of my need for her punch me in the gut. Kenzie was perfect in every way imaginable.

  Throwing her arms around me Kenzie pressed her chest into mine and I relished in the soft feel of her against my hard planes. Breaking the kiss briefly I ripped my shirt over my head and tossed it aside wanting us skin to skin. My muscles began quivering as I tasted her warm flesh, my mouth roaming over her exposed skin for the first time.

  “Jace,” she murmured reaching for me. “Take off your pants.”

  Obeying her command, I shifted away from her shoving my jeans and boxers down my legs in one fell swoop. When they got tangled at the bottom of my feet I kicked restlessly wanting to get back to Kenzie as fast as possible. I felt her shift on the bed and turned to see that she had rid herself of her remaining clothes as well. I didn't have time to appreciate the view before she was pulling me back on top of her.

  Her hands started to explore my body making my system go haywire. I let my hand slip down between us to find her heat, my fingers sliding over her, into her easily. Keeping my eyes locked on her face I watched as her own widened, a gasp falling out of her mouth. Her hands moved from where they were gripping my shoulders to fist in my hair, tugging as I continued to play with her.

  “Jace,” my name came out on a low groan that made my already stiff length start to ache. “More, please I need more.”

  Rocked I tried to hold onto my control as she thrust against my hand. When she cried out against me finding what she needed, crying out my name as she did, I felt like a god. My mouth plundered against hers catching her whimpers as my hands trailed up her body to tease her sensitive breasts.

  “That orgasm was so much better than the one’s I give to myself.”

  “Holy shit.” Picturing Kenzie touching herself was going to push me over the edge. “Do you do that often?”

  Kenzie arched a brow, seeming amused at my question. “Put the condom on Jace, before I take matters into my own hands.” She seemed to think it over for a minute before giving a none too gentle push to my chest. Reaching around me she grabbed the box of condoms and started to rip at the cardboard. “My hands are shaking.”

  “I’ll do it.” Taking the box from her hands I wasn't surprised to see that my hands were shaking too. Out of sheer frustration I ripped the box open making condoms spill out all over the bed. Grabbing the nearest strip I tore one off and used my teeth to open the wrapper. I quickly put on the condom wasting no time in taking Kenzie’s mouth with my own again. My hands slid over her breasts giving them a gentle squeeze as she arched into me turning my body into one throbbing nerve.

  I tortured myself by slowing the speed of our kiss, taking it from a fast and frenzied merging of mouths to a softer slide of my lips over hers. I needed her to know how much she meant to me. How grateful I was that she was here with me. Swamped with love for her I cradled her jaw in my hands, taking my time to look over every inch of the face I adored.

  Kenzie’s nails raked down my chest moving lower until they were circling around me. She gave a slight tug making a low groan erupt from my chest. With a wicked little grin Kenzie slid my length over her opening before positioning me at her entrance. Rest
ing my lips against her neck I felt the strong beat of her pulse as I slowly eased inside of her.

  Lifting my head I looked down at her, studying her expression. “Okay?”

  A brilliant smile came over her face erasing my nervousness as I eased deeper into her. When she lifted her hips I slid all the way in, feeling the thin barrier between us break. Kenzie immediately sensed my concern and gave a small shake of her head, wrapping her legs tighter around my waist. “I’m fine, don’t stop Jace. I want you. I’ve only ever wanted you.”

  I had never felt as connected to someone as I did to Kenzie. Now that I knew what it felt like to be inside her, that feeling was only growing stronger. My mouth came back against hers as she opened her legs wider allowing my hips to fit tighter against hers. I began to move as Kenzie’s body matched my rhythm, rising and falling to meet my every thrust.

  Helpless to do otherwise my mouth took hers in a kiss that filled my soul, easing every doubt I’d ever had that Kenzie would never be mine. She was mine and I was so fucking hers. As the urgency I felt filling my veins turned to desperation, I let myself start to move faster against her, her moans and words of encouragement spurring me on.

  I groped for one of her hands lacing my fingers through hers just as the first wave crashed over me. Kenzie’s muscles clenched around me, shooting fireworks off behind my eyes.

  Dropping my head to her chest I tried to catch my breath to no avail. I felt Kenzie give a little pull on my hair and focused my eyes on her face. The look on it made my already full heart feel like it was going to overflow with joy. This woman was everything to me.

  “I can’t be without you, Kenzie.”

  She smiled and twirled a lock of my hair around her finger. “I love you too.”

  Chapter 15

  Kenzie